The Notorious L.I.M.O.

Dom was recently asked to take part in a quick interview for BBC Radio Devon, drive-time. Eager to make use of his 5 minutes of fame he prepared the following rap/beat-poem. Unfortunately Devon is still not quite ready for hip-hop and the producers quickly put an end to Dom’s fledgling rap career. Not wanting his work to go to waste the full text is posted verbatim below. It should be sung to the tune of The Wu Tang Clan’s breakthrough single “Protect ya’ neck”.

I’m all geared up
This is my big brake
Clutching sweaty palms
Putin can wait no need to accelerate

We’re chauffeur of ourselves
We’ve got limo-tless ambition
In our decision to drive to Mongolia, cross the Gobi,
We’re limo la vida loca

In a car replete with seven seats
Drenched in the fetid reek of feet, deet, kebab meat
The floor would be littered
If only bribes came with receipts

We’ve Czech’d our visas
It’s Istanbul to Constantinople,
Weather’s not looking so hopeful in Mosul
And just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind
Let’s hope we find Azerbaijan, Tashkent get enough
of those somewhat substantive Stans, understandably,
Borat are you calling me man?

And then Mongolia’s stepping up, Khan’t com-plane,
Pulling in Baatar late than never, Baatar we there yet?
Hit the road Yak, Khan touch this, bit of a Khanundrum,

And then Russian away,
Putin our car through its paces,
Never Stalin, Moscow fast like wacky races
Speeding through Soviet military bases
And then not quite back the way Ukraine,
Warsaw from sitting too long

But it’s for doctors without borders
Treating soldiers, civilians and people getting older
They’ve got the world’s disorders on their shoulders

But don’t worry if you’re wishing
You could end this rendition
The limo’s got an electric partition
Allowing judicious intermission.

One thought on “The Notorious L.I.M.O.”

  1. If you ever get the urge to find a job in the music industry, I bet Jay Z will take you under his wing.
    Hope it’s going well so far!

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