The Plan

Reluctantly directing our attention away from New York, Paris and Cavos, we settled on the more reasonably-priced destination of UlaanBaatar, Mongolia, a 375 year old city that began life as a Buddhist nomadic Yurt. So too, we will be tent-inhabiting nomads during our journey, creating a symbolic resonance with which Paris simply cannot compete, despite its croissants and high class prostitutes.

Our trip takes us through Europe, Turkey, (Iraq?) and Azerbaijan. We will swim the Caspian sea with the limousine strapped to our ankles, cross Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan before arriving in Mongolia. Once there, we will trade the limo for a herd of llamas which we will farm for approximately 2 years in order to generate sufficient wool to start our own designer llama-wool thong company. We will call it “Llama Farmer Under Garments”. Slogan: “I’m wearing Llama down there”.

We expect the drive to take 6-8 weeks and to involve fully insurmountable challenges including, but not limited to, malnutrition, sun stroke, hypothermia, dehydration, culture shock, wolves, improvised explosive devices, haemorrhoids, flesh-eating insects, selling our bodies for sex, bribes, the purchase of a kalashnikov rifle and hire of a protective vanguard of child soldiers, France, being unable to speak Russian, Arabic or Turkish in countries in which English is scarce, debt, hitchhikers, zombies, malaria and much, much more.

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