The London Mongolia Limo Service Raising money for Médecins Sans Frontières and Cool Earth Donate

The Mongol Rally

Why drive to Mongolia?

Choosing to forgo the complexity of air travel, with its waiting lounges, grimly friendly air hostesses telling you to sit back down through grimacing masks of orange make-up, and offensively diminutive UHT milk pots, we have chosen instead to drive, with plenty of room for full-size milk containers.

Though Dominic failed his first driving test by pulling onto a dual carriageway in front of a double decker bus at 80 miles per hour without indicating; despite the fact that Steve cannot drive at all and suffers from chronic, debilitating car sickness, and even though Jack’s stature at 6‘5” makes long periods in a seated position intensely uncomfortable; at a mere 10,000 miles the team is obliviously confident that driving is the correct choice.

And how else to get a tan than a trip to the city which literally means means “Red Hero”? Too often, our holidays in the British Riviera have been marred by gale force winds and torrential rain. In the rain shadow of the Himalaya mountains, the mighty Gobi desert can reach temperatures of 37.2 Celsius, enjoying just 194 millimetres (7.6 in) of rainfall annually, in contrast to the UK which suffers an average 200mm in November and December alone. No sand to trouble our delicate butt cracks: much of the Gobi is not sandy but consists of exposed, bare rock.

We are also hoping that through this endeavor we will be able to raise £2500 for charity. However, we need your help! Please see our charities section for the link to donate.

The Blog

Departure

Departure

26 Jul, 2014 - By

WE ARE IN THE CZECH REPUBLIC. Specifically, in a converted farmhouse near Klinovice. We are staying with 20 teenagers who were invited to join a camp here; they come from all over the world (USA, West and East coast, Georgia in Central Asia, Italy, Spain…) to stay here for just under a month. On our […]

The Notorious L.I.M.O.

The Notorious L.I.M.O.

18 Jul, 2014 - By

Dom was recently asked to take part in a quick interview for BBC Radio Devon, drive-time. Eager to make use of his 5 minutes of fame he prepared the following rap/beat-poem. Unfortunately Devon is still not quite ready for hip-hop and the producers quickly put an end to Dom’s fledgling rap career. Not wanting his […]

Sponsors

The following sponsors have helped us in one way or another towards our trip. We cannot thank them enough!

 


panahar-indian-cuisine-bath-takeaway-logo

Panahar Indian Cuisine

Panahar or “Panahars”, as most people refer to them as, is the best Indian restaurant and take away in Bath by a long shot (our opinions, do not sue). Open 7 days a week between 12pm-2pm and again between 5.30pm-11pm.  Call them on 01225 471999 or 471899 or pop down to 8, Moorland Road, Oldfield Park, Bath, Ba2 3PL for the best Chicken Dhansak of your life!

westons-logo

Westons Cider

Established in 1880, Westons cider make “traditional English cider in the way people want cider to taste”. As Cider lovers ourselves we can all attest to that and will certainly be bringing a couple of crates or 10 with us on the trip. Find Westons cider in any respected retailer or pub.


greene and co. london estate agent sponsors of the london mongolia limo service mongol rally 2014

Greene and Co.

London based estate agency Greene & Co. have become one of our largest sponsors on the trip and have been incredibly helpful. We especially would like to thank Craig Draper and Wioletta Szegda for considering and realising the opportunity. They gave us this quote:

“We usually do not get involved with events / sponsorships that are outside of North London, never mind outside the country. However, since we think it’s an amazing undertaking we are delighted to support the team in such a brave adventure. The Maida Vale team especially wish you the best of luck!”

camshaft-ltd-logo

Camshaft Ltd.

Camshaft is a small company dedicated to providing innovative design solutions to challenging engineering and design problems. They’ve designed  everything from the ‘Zenki Pod’ to Candle Makers and are located in Unit D15, Backfield Farm Business Park, Iron Acton, South Gloucestershire BS37 9XD.


Bath-Signs-for-web

 

Bath Signs

Bath Signs have been kind to offer to print our stickers to plaster all over the limo. They are one of the South West’s leading signmakers, and can produce any type of signage; from corporate, commercial and retail signs to A-boards, pavement and safety signs – not to mention vehicle graphics and workwear. Address: Bath Signs, 67 Lower Bristol Road, Bath, BA2 3PG.

logos-all-clients18

Pukka Pad

Thanks Pukka Pads for supplying us with a box of notepads to give to kids in Central Asia! Now we just need someone to sponsor us a few pens…


herbies-fish-and-chip-shop-bath

Herbies Fish and Chip Shop

Located on the corner of Herbert road in Oldfield Park, Bath, Herbies offers decent size portions at a reasonable price. Open later than most takeaways on the street, they are now offering FREE DELIVERY on orders over £12. Call them on 01225 590124 or if you don’t like using the phone, head down to 5, Moorland Road, Oldfield Park, Bath, BA2 3PA.

 

The Charities


MSF

Médecins Sans Frontières

Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors without Borders) are a humanitarian charity that provides medical assistance to countries affected by armed conflict, natural disasters and exclusion from healthcare.

We have chosen MSF as our main charity as the majority of the funds raised go directly to running their support projects. MSF are well known for their humanitarian medical work, but also provide long term care to millions of patients every year making a real difference to people’s lives all over the world. Purely funded by individual donations alone, we feel this is definitely a charity worth supporting.

CE

Cool Earth

Cool earth is the official charity of the 2014 Mongol Rally. They work with people who have lived in the forest for generations and put them back in control.

Working with communities across the Amazon, the Congo Basin and Papua New Guinea, Cool Earth has already saved 330,000 acres of forest. Forest that lay directly in the path of chainsaws and bulldozers.

More importantly, this forest forms a shield to make millions of acres of next-door forest inaccessible to loggers – making it the most efficient and effective way to halt deforestation.

Thanks to our generous donors we have already raised a total of £2,934.25 for our charities!
Please help us reach our target of £2500 by following the link below to donate.
All money donated goes directly to our chosen charities. Thanks!

 

The Plan


Reluctantly directing our attention away from New York, Paris and Cavos, we settled on the more reasonably-priced destination of UlaanBaatar, Mongolia, a 375 year old city that began life as a Buddhist nomadic Yurt. So too, we will be tent-inhabiting nomads during our journey, creating a symbolic resonance with which Paris simply cannot compete, despite its croissants and high class prostitutes.

Our trip takes us through Europe, Turkey, (Iraq?) and Azerbaijan. We will swim the Caspian sea with the limousine strapped to our ankles, cross Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan before arriving in Mongolia. Once there, we will trade the limo for a herd of llamas which we will farm for approximately 2 years in order to generate sufficient wool to start our own designer llama-wool thong company. We will call it “Llama Farmer Under Garments”. Slogan: “I’m wearing Llama down there”.

We expect the drive to take 6-8 weeks and to involve fully insurmountable challenges including, but not limited to, malnutrition, sun stroke, hypothermia, dehydration, culture shock, wolves, improvised explosive devices, haemorrhoids, flesh-eating insects, selling our bodies for sex, bribes, the purchase of a kalashnikov rifle and hire of a protective vanguard of child soldiers, France, being unable to speak Russian, Arabic or Turkish in countries in which English is scarce, debt, hitchhikers, zombies, malaria and much, much more.

The Car

mongol-rally-2014-limo-car-rover-827-team

The staple activity of The British Holiday is the crossword. A stimulating mental challenge, perhaps, but it’s nothing like repairing an exclusively western European vehicle in the largely unpopulated mountain regions of northern Iraq. So instead of choosing a pretentiously robust 4x4 or a rally car that any 16 year old with a GCSE in art could repair, we chose a car that would more likely call upon our skills.

In its virgin voyage, our top of the line 1994 Rover 827Si Regency limousine broke down after a 100 mile straight drive along the pristine motorways of Hereford.

Requiring exquisite skill to negotiate any obstacle taller than its ground clearance (such as speed bumps, mildly irregular road surfaces and Coca Cola cans), the parallel parking abilities of 5 time Tetris world champion Boris Slotakarin and the 3 point-turn precision of a 600 lb sumo wrestler completing “Crystal Maze”, there is no vehicle more suitable to showcasing our driving virtuoso.

Moreover, when travelling over one third of the globe, comfort is of great importance. There is plenty of space to stretch your legs in this 20ft executive vehicle.

With one of the longest continuous histories in the motor industry, the Rover marque has always had a reputation for luxury without extravagance and style without ostentation. This history is continued in the Rover 827 which includes exclusively full-grain leather interiors and fully electric wing mirrors.

The rover 827’s top of class air conditioning system makes it the only practical choice for crossing the Gobi dessert. This paired with state of the art soft-air suspension will allow a smooth journey across potholes, river crossings and arid desert planes.

  • "There is no way in hell we are going to insure you to drive a limousine to mongolia."

    - John, Direct Line Insurance
  • "Why does a 23 year old student need an 8 seater limousine? Have you considered a Ford Galaxy sir?"

    - Karren, Zurich Insurance
  • "I spoke with you yesterday sir, please stop calling."

    - Karren, Zurich Insurance
  • "Have you tried Keith Michaels, they will insure ANYONE."

    - Tony, Aviva Insurance
  • "This sounds too risky, even for us."

    - Gary, Keith Michaels Insurance

The Team


Steve

Dom

Dominic has long been retarded by his ardent vegetarianism and the contrast between his inappropriately skinny ankles and his over-sized, knobbly knees. However, his ambiguously coloured skin, a result of his mixed heritage, means that he is assumed to be an oddly pale or dark skinned native in whichever country he happens to find himself.

Whilst he does not speak Arabic or French, he can speak some Portuguese including such sentences as “I am a black woman” and “the boy does not like apples, but he does like those socks over there” which should see him through any precarious situations.

A humanities graduate who was told by his driving instructor he would certainly crash within a fortnight of his driving test, he brings no discernible skills to the team beyond his less-than-questionable taste in hats. Every team must have a “first to die”, “take it out on that guy”, “yes, OK you can have him if you let us go” team member, and Dominic is unequivocally it.

Steve

Steve

Steven has played 500+ hours of ridge racer and 300+ hours of the PS1 version of Crash Bandicoot, showcasing his suitability for a long drive and his aptitude for overcoming obstacles that take the form of moving platforms or sudden gaps appearing from nowhere.

Whilst Steven is a mechanical engineer by education, his specialisms include designing (but not building) mechanisms to fold t-shirts to an incredibly high level of accuracy and reliability, water pumps and moth photography. He also spent his previous year of employment building and charming snake arm robots, which he hopes will come in handy when confronting the highly venomous central Asian pit viper, endemic to the Gobi Lakes Valley.

With an almost endless mental inventory of synopses of “It’s always Sunny in Philadelphia” and “Curb your enthusiasm”, Steve currently spends much of his time writing pub quizzes and publishing highly accredited reddit posts.


Ollie

Ollie

Ollie, a direct descendant of cider tycoon Henry Weston, is the most important addition to the team with his endless supply of homebrew which will not only fuel us but potentially our car as well (providing it doesn’t eat through the metal work).

Growing up on a farm and having worked on tractors his whole life, the limousine, with its fairly low-tech Honda PGM-Fi programmed fuel injection system, should be a walk in the park.

Being a budding Triathlete, we are contemplating installing pedals, a treadmill and water wheel so if push comes to shove and we run out of fuel, Ollie will be able to power the car completely by himself.

If that fails, we just need to mention the words, ‘shall we get a taxi?’ and get him a bit drunk for him to scream the words, “I do triathlon!” and run away into the night hopefully swimming the Caspian sea, cycling the Uzbek mountain range and running the Gobi desert to get help.

Jack

Jack

With a very short attention span, Jack finds himself getting easily distracted in just about everything he does. Recently a woman relieving herself on the side of the road caught Jack’s attention just long enough for him to crash his bicycle, breaking his wrist. This proved to be a problem for Jack, who aspires to be a professional drummer. Unfortunately his wrist is now fully healed, meaning that Jack will sub-consciously tap on any object that surrounds him. Luckily the limo has an electric partition, perfect for shutting him out in such a case.

Being a true Scotsman, Jack proudly wears a skirt with no underpants! This bizarre concept is almost acceptable in the UK, but we are concerned that it may cause issues with the notoriously homophobic Russian border security.

Jack has spent the previous year working at a valve company designing products with innovative features such as open and shut. He hopes this specialist knowledge will be of the great benefit to his team, perhaps during the inflation of flat tyres, during the trip.

Contact

Your message has been sent

Contact Info

E-mail: contact@mongolrallylimoservice.co.uk